Tag Archives: Joan Burnie

Anyone For Tea And Buns?

 

Joan Burnie says that “saunas are sad, seedy and sorry” (although I’ll bet shecupteabun doesn’t say it three times fast). So we must close them.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering who the hell Joan Burnie is. Well, she is a columnist for the Daily Record and therefore we should all just do as she says, obviously. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you lot are being purposely obtuse? *rolls eyes*

Anyway, for the doubters amongst you who are questioning her expertise. Well, I’ll have you know that she used to live near a sauna and regularly stopped to chat to the ladies who worked there, apparently. Now, I shall neatly sidestep the fact that if those are the criteria, then I am an expert on all sorts of things and get straight to the fact that based on these chats, she says:

But any guy who believes any of them had anything but the most bitter contempt for them is deluded.

Now, I’ve heard the kind of banter which goes on between working girls who are working together all day. Especially when they’re having a busy day. It’s just that. Banter. No different to what you’d hear at the back of any business, if you listened to the staff  having a cigarette break. You could take any of these conversations out of context and twist them to display a contempt for the customer, but most folk don’t bother. They have better things to do.

She also says that:

Saunas are just – well, what exactly?

Some sort of gentlemen’s club where the boys can relax and let it all hang out?

It sure as hell isn’t somewhere into which they pop for a wee cup of tea and a bun.

So, although it may not be a cup of tea and a bun. I’d like to share a forum post with you.

The author has been visiting ladies of negotiable affection for 6 months or so and I’m sure, like others he didn’t know what to expect when he started, so it’s nice to see that he’s being well looked after and obviously has impeccable taste in escorts.

Something so nice happened to me that I have to share it. I have written before on these pages that I consider the perfect ending to my meeting with a lady is when she says to me “if you’re not in a rush to get away would you like to stay for a coffee and a chat?”
That would be the perfect ending. I couldn’t imagine it being any better than that.  Today I had THE perfect perfect ending.
I saw a lady for the second time yesterday afternoon the first time being four months ago.   On each occasion I had booked for one hour and on each occasion had spent nearly three hours with the lady. On neither occasion did I expect or ask for this generosity and on each occasion the pleasure, for me at least, was immense.  As on the first occasion I had to leave because I was going to the theatre (alone).  Yesterday I had driven myself to the lady’s home so I drove myself back to my hotel.  On the first occasion I had gone to her home in a taxi so she drove me back to the hotel.  I’m sure that you are getting the idea of how nice this lady is and also how well we got on.
I enjoyed my afternoon indulgence and also enjoyed the theatre so I went to my bed contented. This morning I arose, showered and dressed and then saw that there was a text on my phone.  It was from the lady.  “would you like to join me for breakfast?” For a millisecond I thought about it before texting my acceptance. The lady only lives a couple of miles from the hotel.
When I arrived I discovered that she had prepared a full English breakfast for us. All the trimmings that you would expect at a hotel but more so.  Well cooked and very tasty.   After enjoying the food we relaxed together on her settee (no naughty stuff) and chatted away.
We shared a very enjoyable hour before once again, at my instigation, having to take my leave for the long drive home.  Even the inclement weather and hour long delay because of an accident on the motorway could not dampen my good humour.
It was such an unexpected surprise all the more so because she didn’t have to do it.  I knew and she knew that I would be seeing her again in a few months time.  There was no suggestion either by her or me that it was anything other than breakfast and conversation.  She isn’t familiar with this site so she doesn’t even know what the signature on my posts is.  I have no illusions about it progressing to anything further.  Business is still business.  But when it seems that some people are put on this earth to make the lives of others a misery  sometimes the clouds do part and the sunshine comes through to warm everything.   I’ll have to stop now because otherwise I’ll ramble on and on.
I know that every one is different in what they are looking for from this business but surely everybody, whether man or woman, has an image in their mind of the perfect ending for them.  My best wishes to everyone.

Now, Ms Burnie. What do you say to that?

 

I’d like to thank Gibbs for allowing me to reproduce his post here.