Tag Archives: Inverness

May You Live In Interesting Times…

Whoever wished that one on me had better watch out, because if I find out who it was, I’m going to stand on their bunions… HARD!

My life over the last six weeks or so has been eventful, to say the least, but it seems to be settling back to something almost recognisable as normal now, which means (fingers crossed) that I can start to catch up on my email. Well, I already have started, but if you’ve been expecting to hear from me and haven’t, feel free to prod me with a reminder.

 

Having changed my tune and started providing domination as a service, I have to say I’m thoroughly enjoying myself and can’t wait to get in a bit of practice in 2012. Which reminds me.

Naughty flatmate! Belated Merry Xmas and I look forward to giving you a good thrashing in the new year!

In case you hadn’t noticed (Yes you! pay attention at the back!), I’ve had a new field report.  So there you have it. Further proof – if you needed it – that I aten’t dead. Not only that, but that I am a sex goddess and social chameleon *preens*. Oh alright then, no I’m not, but I’m not half bad. In fact, as not bad goes, I’m really rather alright. Smile

Anyhoo…

Interesting times or not, I was alternately amused and irritated to see that the Highland News seem to have appointed themselves the moral guardians of Inverness. Their article on the dating website for married folk who fancy a bit on the side may have been intended to stop such shenanigans, but the cynic in me wonders whether it wasn’t just a sneaky bit of advertising for the “security company” mentioned. Ooh! Yes, we’re all terribly impressed that they’ve just taken on two ex policefolk, but really? You’re going to hunt down all the adulterers who fancy a bit of light entertainment because of the recession? Then what? Burn them at the stake outside the town hall? You’ll just cause a traffic jam and then nobody will be your friend. Or are you planning to tell their unsuspecting partners?

Excuse me Madam, I know you think that you are perfectly content with your life and you have a good relationship with your husband, but I feel the need to inform you that he’s been having it away with her at number seven!

If I’m not mistaken, you can’t just start randomly following people. You’ll end up being sued. People have been having affairs and quick knee tremblers when nobody was looking since time began. Right or wrong, it’s none of your business.

Whether or not the articles in question boosted business for the professional nosey parkers, I’m absolutely certain that they will have resulted in a dramatic leap in membership applications for the no strings sex site. So, yah boo sucks to you!

And just don’t get me started on the letters page where two Inverness residents were allowed to spout homophobic bile to a wide audience… Just don’t!

Squonuts and other less important stuff

IMG_0582Yes really. I have no room to talk, because anyone who knows me will tell you that I amuse myself on a daily basis by making up new words for things and bastardising the words we have been very kindly provided with already, but squonuts? I mean, it’s not as if all other doughnuts are the same shape. We don’t feel the need to call them roundnuts or longnuts, so why bother?

 

Right, news… What have I got for you…

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Cooeee! Here I am!

aten't dead

Yes I know. I’ve been conspicuous by my absence. Sorry about that. However, I’m still here and as Granny Weatherwax would say, I aten’t dead. Smile

I have moved house and been without broadband. Speaking of which, did you know that if you phone the Priory and tell them that you need help because it’s been two weeks, three days, four hours and twelve minutes without adequate internet access and you need their help, they laugh themselves into a coma? No, neither did I until recently. I don’t know, the quality of care is deplorable these days.

Anyway, I’m here. I’m wading through my collection of unanswered emails and I’ll be updating my site sometime over the next few days. Incidentally, isn’t it just typical that my email had been very quiet in the couple of weeks before I moved, but as soon as I would have trouble answering it, it went mad. If you have sent me an email over the last couple of weeks and not had a reply, please let me know.

I’m currently only available for a limited number of outcalls in the Inverness area, so if that is what you’re after, just let me know and I’ll see what I can do.

Sing me a lullaby

It is 2:56am and I am awake. I do not want to be awake, but that seems to be irrelevant. I’m having one of those “This is not my bed” moments. I’m sure that any minute now, I will be overwhelmed by the urge to sleep, I am also sure that when that happens, the currently silent Inverness seagulls will start their morning kebab hunt, probably armed with loudhailers.

This is another flying visit, I must be mad working on April fools day. Having spent most of yesterday ignoring withheld numbers, I await the morning with trepidation. However, you boys have a treat in store, I happen to know that Amy of Scarborough and Ellie Lloyd are both planning visits to Inverness in the near future. Make sure you look them up. Don’t miss out.

I am off to sunny Bristol for a few days to visit and torment the lovely Claire, so if you fancy an outcall while I’m there, please send me an email or call me as soon as possible.

Anyway, I’m off to count sheep.

Goodnight

We’re Off To See The Wizard

Well, I’m off down to Inverness again. Despite the snow and gale force winds. Honestly, don’t be surprised if my next blog post is co-written by the cowardly lion, it’s ‘orrible out there.

I’m posting this on my iPhone as I managed to knock my laptop off the table the other day. There was that moment of “I can’t look”, just like when you stub your toe and think there’s going to be a mangled lump where said toe was five minutes ago (or is that just me?), but as it turned out, the only casualty was the charger. Cue me rationing the remaining power in the battery like the last bottle of water on a desert trek. I’ve been a bit lost for the last couple of days. 90% of my friends live in Internetland. I’ve actually had to phone people and speak to them properly. How quaint!

Anyway…

In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m now offering domination and humiliation. I know I said it wasn’t my thing, but I surprised myself. I started off spanking a few naughty boys’ bottoms and it’s led to all kinds of shenanigans. I’ve even (almost) shaken off the voice of the woman in Personal Services saying “winky poos and bot-bots”… Almost.

As I’m in Inverness weekly now, I really need to get a little apartment in the city centre, so if you happen to have/know of something suitable, please let me know. We floozies really do make the best tenants (believe it or not).

What’s another year?

You’ll need to ask Johnny Logan that one.

I don’t do all that resolution malarkey, unless you count the fact that I tell myself that if I get to the end of *insert current year* and still haven’t *insert thing that needs doing*, then there’s going to be trouble. So I’ve no great news for you on that front.

I have spent the festive period drinking too much alcohol, watching repeated dross on tv and generally lazing about, making the place look untidy.

However, it’s time to get back to normal, so the floozy phone is switched on and I’m back in Inverness at the end of this week.

Anyway, I’ve been checking my blog stats again and the search terms used to find me are getting better by the day, so I’ll share today’s (Monday)

Search Terms

PVC Prostitute Punternet?

Seriously?