Tag Archives: Amanda

I’m still here.

I’m not dead and I haven’t been silenced by rabid nuns.
I’ve been busy and the times they are a changin’.
However, those changes mean that I can post things I couldn’t write about before.

You’ll see. 😉

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May You Live In Interesting Times…

Whoever wished that one on me had better watch out, because if I find out who it was, I’m going to stand on their bunions… HARD!

My life over the last six weeks or so has been eventful, to say the least, but it seems to be settling back to something almost recognisable as normal now, which means (fingers crossed) that I can start to catch up on my email. Well, I already have started, but if you’ve been expecting to hear from me and haven’t, feel free to prod me with a reminder.

 

Having changed my tune and started providing domination as a service, I have to say I’m thoroughly enjoying myself and can’t wait to get in a bit of practice in 2012. Which reminds me.

Naughty flatmate! Belated Merry Xmas and I look forward to giving you a good thrashing in the new year!

In case you hadn’t noticed (Yes you! pay attention at the back!), I’ve had a new field report.  So there you have it. Further proof – if you needed it – that I aten’t dead. Not only that, but that I am a sex goddess and social chameleon *preens*. Oh alright then, no I’m not, but I’m not half bad. In fact, as not bad goes, I’m really rather alright. Smile

Anyhoo…

Interesting times or not, I was alternately amused and irritated to see that the Highland News seem to have appointed themselves the moral guardians of Inverness. Their article on the dating website for married folk who fancy a bit on the side may have been intended to stop such shenanigans, but the cynic in me wonders whether it wasn’t just a sneaky bit of advertising for the “security company” mentioned. Ooh! Yes, we’re all terribly impressed that they’ve just taken on two ex policefolk, but really? You’re going to hunt down all the adulterers who fancy a bit of light entertainment because of the recession? Then what? Burn them at the stake outside the town hall? You’ll just cause a traffic jam and then nobody will be your friend. Or are you planning to tell their unsuspecting partners?

Excuse me Madam, I know you think that you are perfectly content with your life and you have a good relationship with your husband, but I feel the need to inform you that he’s been having it away with her at number seven!

If I’m not mistaken, you can’t just start randomly following people. You’ll end up being sued. People have been having affairs and quick knee tremblers when nobody was looking since time began. Right or wrong, it’s none of your business.

Whether or not the articles in question boosted business for the professional nosey parkers, I’m absolutely certain that they will have resulted in a dramatic leap in membership applications for the no strings sex site. So, yah boo sucks to you!

And just don’t get me started on the letters page where two Inverness residents were allowed to spout homophobic bile to a wide audience… Just don’t!

XXX

As you probably know, they (the powers that be) are rolling out a new TLD, the aptly named .xxx. The idea being that the adult industry can pop over there and be deviant out of the public eye. Now, I truly believe that this is the TLD version of a leper colony and that every wifi hotspot in the world will immediately block them, so I’ve not taken much notice of them before now.

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Squonuts and other less important stuff

IMG_0582Yes really. I have no room to talk, because anyone who knows me will tell you that I amuse myself on a daily basis by making up new words for things and bastardising the words we have been very kindly provided with already, but squonuts? I mean, it’s not as if all other doughnuts are the same shape. We don’t feel the need to call them roundnuts or longnuts, so why bother?

 

Right, news… What have I got for you…

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Aaaaand we’re back

But probably not for long.

Some of you may have noticed that my site was down. It’s back for the moment, but it’ll be getting a complete revamp over the weekend, so it’ll be up and down (like a tart’s knickers?).

You also may have noticed that I’m not working much at the moment, preferring to just meet up with my regular chaps/old friends. This is because I am currently working on another project and there is only so much of me to go around.  So, I apologise if you’ve been trying to get hold of me. My phone is next to useless at the moment, but I will endeavour to answer my email in a timely fashion.

In the meantime, here’s something to tide you over… Winking smile

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A Message From Scot-PEP

‘It was confirmed to us at Scot-PEP last week, by one of the leading abolitionists, that the intention to press ahead with the criminalisation of the purchase and sale of sex will continue in the new Parliament. With Ms. Godman’s retiral, it is not clear who will take that job on. However, we were told that it will be someone experienced and that “it” (presumably the criminalisation) “should not be a problem”.

So… it won’t be a problem, yeah? We at Scot-PEP think differently, indeed we intend to make it as much of a problem as we possibly can, just as we did last year when they tried the same nonsense. However, in order to do so, we need your help. We are an entirely voluntary organisation, dependent on the energies and time of committed individuals.

The debate in the coming months will be about you, whether client or worker. It will be about your lifestyle and your means of support. We need you to help YOU prevail.’

So keep your eyes peeled and your wits about you chaps and chapesses. We’re under attack…. again. However, my Mother has informed me that next time there’s any sort of consultation on prostitution, she wants to write to them. So, pain in the butt government types and radical feminists. BE WARNED! I’ve told my Mum on you! Besides which, everyone knows, that no matter what the rules or laws, one can get away with whatever one pleases, just by producing the most sacred of pieces of paper.

A note from your Mother.

My biggest problem currently is (as Eddie Izzard so fabulously put it), the tyranny of evil ducks. My neighbours have ducks you see. Well, let me rephrase that. My neighbours own ducks. Said ducks seem to have tunnelled out and are currently scoffing all the slugs in my garden. Very nice of them, however, the slugs have usually buggered off home at the time of day I like to bimble around the garden and unfortunately, duck poo is not so obliging. Now, chasing them off with a swishy stick would be a great plan, except that these are Aylesbury ducks (they must be more lost than I realised) and you just can’t be mean to Jemima Puddleduck. Well I can’t anyway.

I’ve had my hair cut. It is now short enough to put into cutesy little pigtails. However, this is an entirely useless announcement due to the fact that I would rather eat olives than put my hair into the aforementioned pigtails and just you try to make me eat an olive!

Anyway, I am now busy until next Monday evening, so if you were planning to make a booking before then, you’ve missed your chance for now, but there’s always next week.

Happy Birthday To Me

Yes, another one. That’s 38 of them now and quite frankly they’re beginning to get a little tedious. Still, mustn’t grumble. I usually spend my birthday scouring the t’interweb for any listings which quote my age, so that I can change them. This year I’m putting it off for a couple of days. You see? That’s just how edgy and rock ‘n’ roll I truly am. So, for those who may wonder how I spend my birthdays, wonder no more… Today I shall be popping to the supermarket (not sure I can handle the excitement of that one), continuing my house hunt (yes, I’m moving… Do try to keep up Winking smile ) and heading out for an outcall which is set to include a trip to a nice restaurant.

I’m sure the rad-fems would say that I forgot to include my coercion and exploitation, but it’s MY birthday, not theirs, so they can bugger off. Actually, they’re probably all far too busy tweaking their trafficking figures for Baroness Kennedy to worry about little ol’ me. After all, they have their funding to consider.

Anyway, the sun is shining and today belongs to me, so I’m off…

Tootles Smile

xx