A Message From Scot-PEP

‘It was confirmed to us at Scot-PEP last week, by one of the leading abolitionists, that the intention to press ahead with the criminalisation of the purchase and sale of sex will continue in the new Parliament. With Ms. Godman’s retiral, it is not clear who will take that job on. However, we were told that it will be someone experienced and that “it” (presumably the criminalisation) “should not be a problem”.

So… it won’t be a problem, yeah? We at Scot-PEP think differently, indeed we intend to make it as much of a problem as we possibly can, just as we did last year when they tried the same nonsense. However, in order to do so, we need your help. We are an entirely voluntary organisation, dependent on the energies and time of committed individuals.

The debate in the coming months will be about you, whether client or worker. It will be about your lifestyle and your means of support. We need you to help YOU prevail.’

So keep your eyes peeled and your wits about you chaps and chapesses. We’re under attack…. again. However, my Mother has informed me that next time there’s any sort of consultation on prostitution, she wants to write to them. So, pain in the butt government types and radical feminists. BE WARNED! I’ve told my Mum on you! Besides which, everyone knows, that no matter what the rules or laws, one can get away with whatever one pleases, just by producing the most sacred of pieces of paper.

A note from your Mother.

My biggest problem currently is (as Eddie Izzard so fabulously put it), the tyranny of evil ducks. My neighbours have ducks you see. Well, let me rephrase that. My neighbours own ducks. Said ducks seem to have tunnelled out and are currently scoffing all the slugs in my garden. Very nice of them, however, the slugs have usually buggered off home at the time of day I like to bimble around the garden and unfortunately, duck poo is not so obliging. Now, chasing them off with a swishy stick would be a great plan, except that these are Aylesbury ducks (they must be more lost than I realised) and you just can’t be mean to Jemima Puddleduck. Well I can’t anyway.

I’ve had my hair cut. It is now short enough to put into cutesy little pigtails. However, this is an entirely useless announcement due to the fact that I would rather eat olives than put my hair into the aforementioned pigtails and just you try to make me eat an olive!

Anyway, I am now busy until next Monday evening, so if you were planning to make a booking before then, you’ve missed your chance for now, but there’s always next week.