That’s what my Dad used to say. Cue me doing a little pantomime of trying to put food in my mouth, with my mouth firmly closed.
Of course, table manners are incredibly important, but have you ever noticed how many potential spanners are thrown into the works of attempted etiquette perfection?
For instance, putting food in your mouth is a clear signal to your dinner companion that now is the ideal time to ask you a question. Another is that the perfect (timing critical) retort will occur to you when your mouth is full. By the time you have chewed and swallowed, the moment has passed.
And what is it with people making you laugh, just as you take a sip of your drink? Forcing you to choke yourself half to death in a desperate attempt not to spray everyone with your tipple of choice.
I was listening to something rather infantile, but deliciously funny this evening, whilst supping the last of the White Merlot. I took the last mouthful just as it made me laugh and ended up spilling and spraying wine all down myself. Thankfully nobody saw me, but damn! I was enjoying that wine.
I suppose if I really desperately want to retrieve it, I can always suck my trousers.
On second thoughts… Maybe not, eh?
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