Propaganda

My attention was drawn to a blog. The blog is written by Rebecca Mott who claims to be a “prostitution survivor”. I feel that I should be allowed to say “claims to be”, because she will tell you that I claim to be a happy hooker. I have as many doubts about her authenticity as she has about mine. She has written a piece which the comments proclaim to be ‘brave’. I just found insulting, so I called her on it.

I replied in the same style as the original post and luckily I took a screen capture, so I can show you exactly what I said. 

 

 

I was then called deluded, told that I am suffering false consciousness, that my consent to sex is not valid and accused of being a pimp. 

 

I was told that I must be profiting from the suffering of ‘prostituted women’. I cannot possibly be who I claim to be, apparently. 

And so it went (rather quickly) from the above to this:

 

 

“A well organised approach to spread propaganda of the sex trade”

It now says on there that anyone who disagreed must either be a man, or a woman who is trying to “silence exited women”. 

I beg your pardon? Who tried to silence whom? I was just trying to point out that no, your experience is not the definitive one. Yours is not the only voice that needs to be heard. 

 

Apparently it’s ok to silence me. I am deluded. I am worth no more than my hands and holes. 

 

I am a fuck machine. 

Edited with BlogPad Pro

Sex work is dangerous because…

Yesterday, Laurie Penny published an article in the New Statesman. It was entitled “This strange neo-Victorian desire to save prostitutes and porn actresses”. As you can probably imagine, that caught my attention. However, it is the sub heading that is currently being argued on Twitter and elsewhere.

Sex work isn’t stigmatised because it is dangerous. Sex work is dangerous because it is stigmatised.

That (of course) set off the alarms in the underground Crouch End lair of Julie Bindel. Her response:

Awful, libertarian, patronising crap. Hope the growing group of prostitution survivors knocks this down.

Now, putting aside the fact that you really don’t want to get me started on the sudden (and almost magical) influx of “prostitution survivors” who will attest to the fact that everything Julie and her ilk say is not only Gospel, but an understatement. I do find most of what she says about the sex industry to be awful, totalitarian crap which I hope the growing group of outspoken sex workers will knock down, but hey ho…

I don’t see the problem with Laurie Penny’s article. The reason I don’t have a problem with it is that she has obviously been listening and paying attention to sex workers and who better to tell people what we need, than us? Oh yeah, I forgot… Radical feminists. Because of course, we should be denied our autonomy if what we profess to want doesn’t tally with what they have decided we should want.

Along comes an American chap who agrees totally with Julie Bindel, thinks that Laurie Penny has lost her mind and tweets the following:

So wrong. Sex work is dangerous because its often not a choice. Look at these stories please

Now, what I want to know is this:

A sex worker is a sex worker. Regardless of which part of this extremely varied industry he or she works. The fact is that bad people who want to do bad things to others without getting caught know that sex workers are seen as sub-human by many and street workers especially may be missed by few. That’s what makes it dangerous. The fact that those people feel that they have no rights and are seen as disposable. Whether they have chosen sex work or felt compelled to do it through lack of choice isn’t what causes the danger. It’s society’s attitude to them.

And while we’re on the subject of people who turn to sex work out of desperation.

Where is the logic in thinking that eradicating prostitution will help them?

I can assure you that if you wander up to a street worker and say “Ah, you are destitute and have been forced to sell your body on a street corner to survive, so I’ve done you a favour, I’ve completely done away with prostitution. You don’t need to do it any more. No, honestly, no need to thank me. It was the right thing to do”. He or she will probably take a moment to consider the implications of what you have just said and then punch you really really hard.

Those of you who think that getting rid of the sex industry is a wonderful idea. Just think about that for a moment. Forget the people you consider privileged and not representative and concentrate on those for whom prostitution is the only option. If you take it away, what exactly do they have left?

Oh and as for the chap I quoted earlier. He is a photographer who takes pictures of deprived areas. I’m sure that his wading in has nothing whatsoever to do with wanting to sell his pictures. Oh no. I’m sure that Mr “I used to work on Wall Street, but now I’m an artist” has purely altruistic intentions.

I want to ask you a couple of questions.

1. If you quit your job tomorrow, what would you live on?
2. Why do you work at all?

Over the last few months, I’ve read more than a few websites and articles and now submissions to Rhoda’s consultation. Folk who want prossies to go away support Rhoda’s bill are very fond of reeling off the same old “fact”.

those who sell (sex) need the money, shelter, food, drugs, alcohol.

Women forced into prostitution by poverty

Ok, I’m in the lucky position of not needing alcohol or drugs, but I do need the money and I most definitely do need shelter. I have three children to feed. Are these not the same reasons that everybody gets a job? We are all in the same boat. That’s why it’s called working for a living. It’s because none of us would survive if we didn’t find a way of earning money. That’s why we have a benefits system in this country, because we recognise that people can’t survive on fresh air.

So, yes.

I’m forced into prostitution by poverty. Or if I put that in less feministy, emotive terms.

I was forced to choose a job and work at it, to avoid poverty.

You know.

Just like everybody else.

 

Having nagged you all to sort out your responses to the consultation. I must admit that mine was done, very hurriedly, at the last minute, whilst parked in Asda car park. I used a template from the Scot-PEP website and added some words of my own. I feel a little guilty about this, but in the end it does the job. It puts my name up there as opposing the bill. I mean, let’s face it. No matter what I write, I’m unlikely to change anyone’s mind.

I would just like to say a couple of things to those who support this bill.

When I was deciding how to make a living. My choice was limited by many factors, but most importantly (as in all things), my not wanting to break the law or hurt anybody. I don’t do either of those things, so why can’t you just leave me alone? My decision to work as a prostitute is none of your business, I do not need you to like what I do any more than I would ask your permission to get a tattoo or piercing or consult you if I decided to shave my head.

Anyone For Tea And Buns?

 

Joan Burnie says that “saunas are sad, seedy and sorry” (although I’ll bet she doesn’t say it three times fast). So we must close them.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering who the hell Joan Burnie is. Well, she is a columnist for the Daily Record and therefore we should all just do as she says, obviously. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if you lot are being purposely obtuse? *rolls eyes*

Anyway, for the doubters amongst you who are questioning her expertise. Well, I’ll have you know that she used to live near a sauna and regularly stopped to chat to the ladies who worked there, apparently. Now, I shall neatly sidestep the fact that if those are the criteria, then I am an expert on all sorts of things and get straight to the fact that based on these chats, she says:

But any guy who believes any of them had anything but the most bitter contempt for them is deluded.

Now, I’ve heard the kind of banter which goes on between working girls who are working together all day. Especially when they’re having a busy day. It’s just that. Banter. No different to what you’d hear at the back of any business, if you listened to the staff  having a cigarette break. You could take any of these conversations out of context and twist them to display a contempt for the customer, but most folk don’t bother. They have better things to do.

She also says that:

Saunas are just – well, what exactly?

Some sort of gentlemen’s club where the boys can relax and let it all hang out?

It sure as hell isn’t somewhere into which they pop for a wee cup of tea and a bun.

So, although it may not be a cup of tea and a bun. I’d like to share a forum post with you.

The author has been visiting ladies of negotiable affection for 6 months or so and I’m sure, like others he didn’t know what to expect when he started, so it’s nice to see that he’s being well looked after and obviously has impeccable taste in escorts.

Something so nice happened to me that I have to share it. I have written before on these pages that I consider the perfect ending to my meeting with a lady is when she says to me “if you’re not in a rush to get away would you like to stay for a coffee and a chat?”
That would be the perfect ending. I couldn’t imagine it being any better than that.  Today I had THE perfect perfect ending.
I saw a lady for the second time yesterday afternoon the first time being four months ago.   On each occasion I had booked for one hour and on each occasion had spent nearly three hours with the lady. On neither occasion did I expect or ask for this generosity and on each occasion the pleasure, for me at least, was immense.  As on the first occasion I had to leave because I was going to the theatre (alone).  Yesterday I had driven myself to the lady’s home so I drove myself back to my hotel.  On the first occasion I had gone to her home in a taxi so she drove me back to the hotel.  I’m sure that you are getting the idea of how nice this lady is and also how well we got on.
I enjoyed my afternoon indulgence and also enjoyed the theatre so I went to my bed contented. This morning I arose, showered and dressed and then saw that there was a text on my phone.  It was from the lady.  “would you like to join me for breakfast?” For a millisecond I thought about it before texting my acceptance. The lady only lives a couple of miles from the hotel.
When I arrived I discovered that she had prepared a full English breakfast for us. All the trimmings that you would expect at a hotel but more so.  Well cooked and very tasty.   After enjoying the food we relaxed together on her settee (no naughty stuff) and chatted away.
We shared a very enjoyable hour before once again, at my instigation, having to take my leave for the long drive home.  Even the inclement weather and hour long delay because of an accident on the motorway could not dampen my good humour.
It was such an unexpected surprise all the more so because she didn’t have to do it.  I knew and she knew that I would be seeing her again in a few months time.  There was no suggestion either by her or me that it was anything other than breakfast and conversation.  She isn’t familiar with this site so she doesn’t even know what the signature on my posts is.  I have no illusions about it progressing to anything further.  Business is still business.  But when it seems that some people are put on this earth to make the lives of others a misery  sometimes the clouds do part and the sunshine comes through to warm everything.   I’ll have to stop now because otherwise I’ll ramble on and on.
I know that every one is different in what they are looking for from this business but surely everybody, whether man or woman, has an image in their mind of the perfect ending for them.  My best wishes to everyone.

Now, Ms Burnie. What do you say to that?

 

I’d like to thank Gibbs for allowing me to reproduce his post here.

The Rhoda Grant Consultation (Part 2)

Onwards, to the second part of Rhoda’s introduction.

For clarity I shall tackle this one outlandish statement at a time.

The majority of those who are involved in prostitution are unwilling participants.

I notice that there is no reference for this statement. The reason for this is that Ms Grant made this up off the top of her head. It’s a statement that radical feminists often make.

When questioned about the source of this pile of crap “fact”, they will puff up their chests, glare at the person who dares to question them and dig into their collection of emotive arguments, usually pulling out the kind of reply which will leave them looking like Florence bloody Nightingale and you resembling Attila the Hun. Something along the lines of “The poor, broken women who have spoken to me have made this fact all too clear. Are you denying their experiences?”. Cue a sweeping look around the assembled throng, who by now would like to see your head on a spike.

However, on this occasion. We are talking about the law, so Rhoda, please show me your proof.

A number of UK studies provide useful background information in this area.

Yes they do. However, don’t think for a second that I’m agreeing with you.

Many of the findings are disturbing. For example 75% of women in prostitution in the UK became involved when they were children; 70% spent time in care and 45% of women in prostitution report experiencing familial sexual abuse.

75% of women in prostitution in the UK became involved when they were children? She then cites ‘Ties that Bind –Young people and the prostitution labour market in Britain” by Margaret Melrose as her source. Now I’ve read through that and I can’t figure out for the life of me where she found the 75%. Feel free to look for yourself, there’s a link to the paper at the bottom of the page. However, the biggest problem I have with this is that (in the words of Ms Melrose) “The research upon which this paper is based was a small-scale retrospective study of people who had become involved in prostitution when they were juveniles”.

Yes, you read that right. It was a paper on child prostitution. All of the women in the study became involved in prostitution when they were children, because that’s what the paper was about!

Now two questions remain:

1. Does Rhoda Grant know this and is hoping to palm the statistic off on folk? Or does she genuinely not realise? In which case one must assume that she is a tad dim.
2. Where the hell did she get 75% from when 100% of the women in that paper entered prostitution as children? We’re back to that dim thing again aren’t we…

And so we move on to the “fact” that 70% spent time in care and 45% of women in prostitution report experiencing familial sexual abuse.

Well, if we dig back through to ‘Paying the price’ we again see that the studies from which they have concluded that 70% spent time in care are for the most part, studies which have concentrated on young people and in the main, were looking at street prostitution. Again, just a small sample of people. Just one small part of the sex industry. I can find the part in that document where it states that

abuse – as many as 85% report physical abuse in the family, with 45% reporting familial sexual abuse

However, it doesn’t cite a source that I can see and as Rhoda Grant would say “Where’s your proof?”

Did you know that 35% of women are said to be victims of familial sex abuse? That’s another random government statistic for you and as most of the stats they trot out for prostitution are gathered by talking to young, vulnerable street workers, I’m actually surprised that the 45% isn’t higher.

The only conclusions that I would draw from this part of the consultation are that the care system needs an overhaul, child abuse is still far too commonplace and this urgently needs to be addressed, child prostitutes¹ enter the sex industry as children and that Ms Grant needs to read, mark, learn and inwardly digest as opposed to copying and pasting from the Violence against Women website.

 

Melrose 2002 [pdf]
Paying the price [pdf]

 

1. I do not believe that there is such a thing as a ‘child prostitute’, only victims of child abuse and I do wish they’d stop calling it that.

The Rhoda Grant Consultation (part 1)

Over the next few days, I’m going to try to persuade you that Rhoda Grant’s proposal to criminalise the purchase of sex is misguided at best and dangerous at worst. Those of you who don’t need convincing, feel free to speed read, but just don’t forget to respond to the consultation. Hoping that someone else will do it, may just end up with Rhoda getting her way.

Rhoda states in her introduction:

I believe that prostitution in Scotland is a form of violence against women and sexual exploitation.1 The Scottish Government‟s Safer Lives: Changed Lives which sets out a shared approach to tackling violence against women recognises that prostitution is a form of commercial sexual exploitation. In a modern 21st century Scottish society such treatment and degradation of those who are sexually exploited should not be tolerated. Prostitution is harmful to those who are exploited and impacts negatively on society.

I do not recognise that prostitution is a form of commercial sexual exploitation.

A meeting room full of smug, self congratulatory folk who pat each other on the back for a job well done saving “those poor unfortunate sex workers” with mental images of “drug addled teens” wearing teeny mini skirts and thigh length boots,  leaning through car windows to enquire “Are you looking for business?”. Yes, I’m sure those folk recognise that fact. However, I would argue their right to ‘recognise’ anything related to sex work when the fact is that they probably wouldn’t recognise a sex worker. I mean, most of us aren’t homeless waifs. Damn us with our disguises!

So of course, their next argument is that an independent escort who makes an informed decision to enter the sex industry is ‘not representative’. Now, I can’t (and neither can anybody else) provide you with facts and figures when it comes to the number of women in prostitution (yes, I know there are men as well. One thing at a time), but what I can tell is that the forum at SAAFE has 4002 members. Now that’s just the forum. Just the number of independents who choose to join the conversations over there. However, you may argue that SAAFE has members from all over the UK (and a few from elsewhere), so Adultwork it is then. If I search their site for a female escort in Scotland, then I get  1066 results. These are all indoor sex workers. If you were to believe the figures I’ve seen bandied about in the past, then indoor sex work accounts for only 20% of the UK sex industry. Anyone who believes that must be insane! You’d be scarcely able to step outside your door without tripping over yet another tart. Street corners would be crowded with floozies!

Ok, so back to this exploitation malarkey.

I choose to work in the sex industry. Nobody forces me to do it and whilst I will freely admit that this work isn’t for everybody, I also ask you to consider that there are many jobs which a lot of folk will tell you that they couldn’t contemplate doing.

My jobs suits me just fine.

I am not exploited. I am not coerced. This is my body. These are the services I offer through choice.

Do not tell me that I am not entitled to make that decision.

As for prostitution impacting negatively on society.

What any consenting adults do behind closed doors cannot possibly impact negatively on anything or anyone.

And that’s just it isn’t it.

Consenting adults.

That is who we’re talking about here. There are already laws in place to protect those who are actually exploited or coerced.

As for degradation. The only thing I currently find degrading is being patted on the head by certain feminists and told that they will make my decisions for me. They will tell me what to think and feel because I obviously cannot be allowed to decide for myself… If I could, I’d agree with them.

 

 

Please respond to the consultation.

 

Responses should be submitted by 14 December 2012 and sent to:

Rhoda Grant MSP
Room M1.06
Scottish Parliament
Edinburgh EH99 1SP
Tel: 0131 348 5766
Fax: 0131 348 5767
E-mail: Rhoda.Grant.msp@scottish.parliament.uk

If you don’t know what to say, don’t worry. You can download a template letter from SCOT-PEP.

And you don’t need to be resident in Scotland.

Do Unicorns Neigh?

I need to know.

You see, if I’m going to be a mythical creature, then I’d like to get the details right.

I can’t just wander about all horny and neighing, only to discover that they make an entirely different noise. That would be silly. I mean, it’s bad enough to discover that I’m not real, without making some kind of Unicorny faux pas.

I suppose I really should tell you what the hell I’m on about, but be warned. You’ll wish you hadn’t asked.

I was Googling about (as you do) and came across this.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention. All my clients are Unicorns as well.

All happy hookers and all good clients.

So these Unicorns… Common as bloody muck then.

*Swishes mane and trots away*